Getting back to base-ics; Chem 101 by Savage

This radio interview was broadcast from a personal antenna in someone's garage near the industrial center of Copenhagen. The identity of the persons involved remains a mystery, but it has been determined 3 people were in the room at the time of the broadcast. Positively identifying those involved is a top priority of INTERPOL, and a reward is being offered for any information which could further the investigation.

(Side note: The broadcast was made at a frequency which deviated between 88-91 MHz, but on average modulated @ 90.1 MHz. The energy the broadcast used was enormous. For simplicity, we have given code names to the speakers. Man #1 is codenamed Titanic, Man #2 is codenamed Mary, and Man #3 is codenamed Spaniard.)

*27 seconds of static*

Titanic: ...Hvorfor blir stoffet av Turin drapert over (indecernible) Flodhest?
Spaniard: Hvorfor er jeg som selv skriver dette. Denne posten er forferdelig, fortjener jeg til å dø.
Mary: *KLAPP*

(At this point the frequency modulates to over 90MHz, and for some reason the language changes from Norwaydish to English.)

Spaniard: And the lawyer looks at the deli owner and says, "You should have used business reply mail!"
Titanic and Mary: Ha ha ha!

Spaniard: But seriously. Mumbai was a success, now we can concentrate on the Western Lands. Our sources are scouting possible locations as we speak, their cover is Rastafarians on leave. Think Cool Runnings. We might start with a US territory such as Guam to hammer out any kinks before heading to the mainland.

Mary: Why are we broadcasting this?

*End transmission*